iimpavid | mise en scène

in this week's issue of unexpected not great events: the leasing company has decided a property inspection is necessary for us to renew our lease.

This is legal and not hard to prepare for just ... badly timed. And a horrible trigger for me personally, since I grew up in government housing with the constant threat of eviction if someone decided our toilet seats weren't clean enough to lick.

I'm coping with this intense anxiety in a variety of ways but the big one is stating for myself over and over that this is a bit of theater. We must construct the perfect scene. A scene of tranquility Docility. One that will trick the ruling classes into believing that we are not a threat. They must not suspect that we have rich interests outside of labor or that our labor overtaxes us too much.

This means that it's all about exteriors, eye-lines, flat surfaces, smells, and light. Exteriors must be tidy, eye lines must be free of clutter, flat surfaces should be empty, smells should be unobtrusively clean, and the light must be good.

If all of those things are sufficiently unremarkable then no one will be any the wiser to the fact that two chronically ill and stressed-out queers live there and we can continue to live there, maybe, hopefully. If we are especially lucky, they won't hike up our rent, either.

I have a friend who's agreed to a video call for body doubling tonight, too, which is an extra special blessing because 1) I have made a friend!!! and 2) they will go out of their way to help me out.