iimpavid | long time, no see (Reply)

It's been, what, 2 years since I posted here?

I've had a lot going on. Lots of good things, mostly. I'll try to give y'all the highlights...

Family Stuff

So, M and I are functionally married and have actually embraced that. Calling each other "spouse" (and various terms) really helps reframe the distribution of labor in the house and lets us discuss how we want to tackle problems. It's given us the room to frame our relationship and household goals in a way that let us deal with conflicts in more constructive ways. It turns out we were gay for each other the whole time, just too autistic and asexual to see it right away.

M still can't find work but we're getting by. She's been in investigations/treatment for her autoimmune disorder since December 2023, as well as therapy, and those things have given her a lot of tools for communicating. It's making dealing with her disabilities easier. It's let me be more supportive. She's been sticking to boundaries and setting her own and it's kind of nice. (She's also on her 2nd SSI application so we'll see how that works out given the state of the world.)

Granddad-in-law is helping get our bills paid. We're hoping that Aunt Wealthy will allows us to inherit it when he dies. I don't like that we'll probably have to wait for him to die in order to get a stable housing situation, but it is what it is. For the time being, we're still renting the same nice little condo with a dirt patch and lots of birds to watch, so that's alright. We're grateful to be able to limp by.

I went no contact with my birth mother. She was the last blood family I have but I could not keep her in my life. Maybe ten years from now i'll feel differently but right now I feel free. Not having to orbit her misery constantly is... a gift.

Friend Stuff

I've made some solid new friends -- Fox and their husband Smith; Gardener and her husband Cryptid; Teacher and her boyfriend Softspoken. I'm looking at becoming friends with Art Hostess. These are all excellent people in my life and I feel shocked and blessed to have them.

I've been retreating from online spaces for the most part. I'm still semi-active on Discord and I post a few times a year to AO3. I miss people, but I've needed to make things and be outside way more.

Work Stuff

My dayjob persists and that's... fine. I'm not satisfied. I'm finding ways to reframe my relationship with it. I'm working hard to be less invested emotionally in any of it and that's helping me a lot.

I've found that working in Granddad's sun room most afternoons is helpful for alleviating some of my burnout. As has weekly yoga (the "weekly" and routine part is a bit more important than the fact of it being yoga.)

Health Stuff

I yote my ovaries in May 2023! It's been fucking wonderful. I am on hormone replacement, which is frustratingly expensive but effective enough to be tolerable.

Thanks to the (very low) dose estrogen I'm on, I still have a small hormone cycle. So, when my wife gets their period I usually have more lower back pain and a lot of bloating, as well as some other miscellaneous digestive systems. It's not ideal but it's so much better than having the endless torture of full-blown endometriosis all the time. I feel like "mild inconvenience" is a much more reasonable expectation to have.

Not having the same degree of endometriosis has allowed me to make a lot of progress with my pelvic floor issues. I've seen improvements to my liver and gallbladder health as a result of consistent massage and gentle exercise-- internally and externally.

I found a good dentist. I now have all of my fillings taken care of and I only needed one crown.

I'm working quite hard to get back into weight lifting. The process of getting my muscle tone and joint stability back over the last 7 years is going more slowly than I'd like, but it's going. On top of the regular massage, yoga, and walking, I've recently gotten a TENS unit. It's probably my favorite thing, period.

Religion Stuff

Oh boy, where do I start?

I may tell some of these stories here, I may not-- I've been working on writing up a religious autobiography of sorts just as an exercise to make sure I'm grounded as I go through... all of this.

The easiest place to start is that I'm working with the Northern Tradition Shamans' Guild to become clergy. This is not the same as being a shaman-- that's a whole, vast, and unique role and I don't think that's what I'm meant for. I've learned a lot this past year about how to care for the souls of the dead and shepherd vagrant Dead to Helheim-- among many other things. My teacher is Kenn-- he's excellent and I highly recommend him if you have need of divinatory or spiritwork services.

This coming year I'll be working with Sigyn a lot. I may talk about that here if the mood strikes me.

If you've ever had questions about polytheism, divination, and the Norse Gods, please feel free to ask. I'll try to answer or provide what resources I can.

Creative Stuff

I've written so much fanfic. I finally got around to the sequel of my Yu Yu Hakusho fic.
I've gotten back into Star Trek as a whole thanks to Discovery and Strange New Worlds, so of course I started writing fic about Spock.
I've written fic for Carla Speed McNeil's FINDER that's absolutely excellent. (You do not need the comics to get the fic-- go read it!)
There's also a new one about Jason Todd from the 2018 Titans show that I'm especially proud of.
On top of that, M and I are in the middle of writing and posting a real big Superboy fanfic/series called Red Sun.

Outside of writing I've been doing, perhaps, too much. I've learned to spin my own yarn. I'm getting decently okay at it. In this year's Spin Together, I was able to contribute 3,610 yards, plied, to my team's total yardage. I'm quite proud of that.

I'm slowly putting together a couple of books of poetry/writing and reworking a short story I've been sitting on for a few years at this point.

I've learned to tablet weave and to make frame drums from hide. I'm getting ready to start some vegetables in a friend's garden. Then, I'll learn to throw small pots. The pots are part of a devotional project for Sigyn that I'll get into at some point, probably.

So, there you go. I've been quite busy.